Same length, more said

A paragraph that is the right size and the wrong density.

Tighten this paragraph without making it much shorter. Same length, more said: stronger verbs, fewer abstract nouns, one idea per sentence. Show the before and after of the three sentences you changed most, and say what each change does.

Paragraph:

Cutting and compressing. Getting a draft shorter, to a word count, or down to a summary that still says everything.