Six rewrites of the line that is not landing

One line is dead, you know which one, and you want options rather than a verdict.

Here is a line that is not working, with the lines either side for context. Say in one sentence what the line is trying to do, then give me six rewrites: two that keep the sense and change the sound, two that change the sense, two that merge it with a neighbour. Say which you would keep.

Lines:

Rewriting lines and stanzas. The line that is dead, the lineation that feels arbitrary, the verb that is doing nothing.