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The words are right but the lineation feels arbitrary.
Re-break the stanza below without changing a single word. Give me four versions: 1. Broken to land on the strongest noun or verb at each line end 2. Broken to maximise enjambment, so most lines pull the reader forward mid-phrase 3. Broken end-stopped, so each line is a complete unit 4. Broken into shorter lines than the original, roughly half the length Under each version, say in one sentence what the break pattern does to the pace and to which words get emphasis. Then tell me which version suits the poem's subject best, and why. Commit to one. If the original lineation is already the best of the five, say that plainly. Stanza:
Rewriting lines and stanzas. The line that is dead, the lineation that feels arbitrary, the verb that is doing nothing.
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