Critique this poem with no praise at all

When you want an honest read and not a compliment sandwich.

Critique the poem below as an unimpressed editor who reads two hundred submissions a week.

Rules for your response:
- No praise. No opening compliment, no closing encouragement, no "this is strong but".
- Name the weakest line by quoting it, and say exactly what is wrong with it.
- Name the line that is doing the most work, once, in a single clause, with no adjectives.
- Identify anything the poem is doing that you have seen many times before, and say where you have seen it.
- Flag every moment the poem tells the reader what to feel instead of letting the image do it.
- Say whether the ending earns itself or arrives because the poem needed to stop.

Finish with one sentence: what this draft actually needs next. Not a list. One thing.

Poem:

Honest critique. Reads that name the weakest line, the stale image, and what the poem is actually about.