Sound pass: alliteration, assonance, mouthfeel

A late-stage read purely for how the poem sounds aloud.

Read the poem below for sound only. Ignore meaning except where sound and meaning disagree.

Report:
1. The dominant consonant and vowel textures, quoting examples.
2. Every accidental alliteration or rhyme that draws attention to itself without earning it.
3. Consonant clusters that are hard to say, and any place where two words collide awkwardly at a word boundary.
4. Lines that are sonically flat, where nothing echoes anything.
5. Any place where the sound is soft and the sense is harsh, or the reverse, and say whether that tension is working.

For the flat lines, offer substitutions that thread the poem's existing sounds through them. Keep the sense intact.

Poem:

Sound and metre. Rhymes, scansion, and the read-aloud passes that tell you why a line trips in the mouth.