Check the tone before I send this

You wrote it while irritated and it is addressed to someone who matters.

Read this message as the recipient, not as me. Tell me how it lands.

1. What emotional impression does it leave? Quote the exact phrases creating it.
2. Which lines could be read as passive aggressive, defensive, condescending, or panicked, even if I did not mean them that way?
3. Where am I being vague because I am uncomfortable being direct? Point it out, because vagueness usually reads worse than the direct version.
4. Where am I over-apologising or over-explaining?
5. What will they think I want from them, and is that what I actually want?

Then give me a revision that keeps my directness and removes only what will cost me. If the message is already fine to send, say so plainly and do not rewrite it to look useful.

Message:
Recipient and our relationship:

Tone check. Reading a draft back before you send it: too cold, too soft, too annoyed.